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Connor x reader recovering from surgery -he’s very worried about you. Like he knows you’re going to be fine but he’s so distraught -he feels so useless and so he keeps asking nurses what to do and when they say to just let you sleep he takes that very seriously he stays dead quiet and turns all the lights off -when you wake up in pain he’s right there. Dear Evan Hansen?? More like Dear Evan Dancen: an Au in which Evan is a ballerina boy™️ • evan and connor go to the same school, a school for visual and performing arts. • evan is a dance student (obviously) and connor is there for both music (he’s a piano god) and art (drawing and painting specifically) • dancing takes evan to another world, it helps him cope with his anxiety and express all of his emotions. Connor plays piano because even when he’s almost too depressed to get out of bed, he remembers he has something incredible, he has a gift and it keeps him going.
• evan and connor don’t know each other because they’re in different areas of the arts. • they’re both huge nerds about their arts and are always practicing: they go in early and use empty rooms to dance (evan) and play piano (connor), they practice through their lunch period, and they’re always there after school.
• connor loves la la land and i will fight anyone who tries to tell me otherwise • one day connor is leaving when he hears Mia and Sebastian’s Theme (his fav song from la la land, he plays it all the time on piano) coming from one of the dance rooms. • he peeks in the room to see ballerina evan™️ doing a beautiful solo (duh) to the song he was hearing • connor watches evan, taking in every move, leaving him breathless. When evan’s done connor says something like “you’re incredible” • evan is stARTLED AS HECK • sweet ballerina boi is a blushy mess because the cute piano boy he’s seen around was watching him dance • he’s tripping over all of his words because it’s an au but he’s still evan • he manages to croak out a small “thanks” as he sits down to change out of his pointe shoes • connor walks in and sits next to him and introduces himself • evan is confused because no one ever talks to him so hes????
Having tried to introduce this musical to friends of mine and their first response was: “that’s the musical with those nervous gay kids, right?” I must say I am disappointed that we, as a fandom, are leaving the impression that this is what Dear Evan Hansen is about. Let’s go over it again, shall we? Dear Evan Hansen is a complex musical about Evan Hansen, a boy with anxiety.
He gets wrapped up in lies he compulsively made trying to keep up the act he was friends with Connor Murphy, a boy with unstable mental health and anger issues who commit suicide. He pulls in his friends Jared Kleinman and Alana Beck for help with the project he’s created, only to abandon them without even realizing it when he gets everything he wants. (I am not saying these two are innocent, but they were hurt by Evan.) (Also, do not erase their high functioning anxiety and insecurities!) He has tricked the Murphy family and his community that he was close with Connor. While helping everyone connect, he is ripping apart himself and others with these lies.
In the end, he hurt people. He hurt himself. He survived and is okay now. It’s not the closure we would want and expect from the end of a story, but this story is about life. Life doesn’t always have closure. Zoe got hurt. Jared got hurt.
Alana got hurt. Heidi got hurt. Murphy got hurt. Connor got hurt. Hurt and mental illness. This is the story. Don’t erase it.
Learn from it, instead. I am not saying that this is all the story is and that shipping anything in it is wrong. I MYSELF SHIP STUFF! I just want the message to be seen. This post highlights the dark and painful parts of Dear Evan Hansen.
I am not saying the show is not happy. It really can be. It really is. Evan created a place where people could learn they are not alone! Alana and Jared were part of it! The Murphy’s healed.
Everyone healed, as well as they got hurt. Just because I say one thing, doesn’t mean I cancel out the other. They coexist.
Thank you for listening.
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